Was this Time-Out???

It is the end of the week and here is my take on last week. Starting with the first day.

Day number one of planning lasted a short time. We could not agree on where to start, much less how to procede. So at DeeDee’s suggestion, we did go to seperate rooms and prepare.

She got the living room with the couch and the A/C. I got the back porch with the metal chair.
(I just thought…was I put in time-out and did not catch on until just now???)

But the Lord used our time and our places to point us in the same direction.

That is the way He works. He uses His own time and puts us in the right place to bring us to the right frame of heart, mind and spirit.

As I have read elsewhere, it takes a quiet place, a quiet time and a quiet heart to hear Him and to sense His leading.

Now, we are both going His way in our planning. Which, coincidentally, is closer to the way DeeDee was headed than me. But as long as it is ultimately His way that is all that matters.

Struggling but Thriving…
Hal

Day Two of our Planning

It is amazing the difference between one day and the next.

The second day of planning was how it is supposed to be. We both had ideas, and were able to communicate and put it down on paper. No tension. No fear of fussing. No misinterpreting what the other was saying.

So, as in life…the very one who you want to “throw away” today…is the very one who you adore so much the next day. Call it hormones, call it moods, call it stresses of life, call it FLESH… whatever. We are two different people. But when we take some time and get with our Savior and allow Him to direct our days/paths/plans, He brings peace.

Would you agree with me that our biggest problems could be resolved easily and quickly, if we would just spend time with our Savior first? Put off the “old man”, the flesh, the ME… and “put on” Christ.

This is nothing new for us. Yet, we still will have days like that first day of planning. Will we ever learn? Hopefully. I know this retreat’s planning time has already been much better than last time.

Last time (which by the way – was a LONG time ago) I really wondered if our marriage would survive the marriage retreat. I think we finally just decided that time to just do our own thing in our own sessions. Then in our joint sessions, Hal would just lead it by himself.

So, I guess we are learning. We have grown. We know more about warfare. We know when to get away from the planning and to pray and study (alone).

Life is a journey. I want to enjoy the ride. I want to enjoy the differences. I CHOOSE to do so. A conscience choice. It is worth it. Trust me.

Thriving today,
DeeDee

Enjoy the Differences

Men and women are created different. That is really a good thing.

But sometimes, it makes the daily life a little less than desirable. Sometimes it is just HARD.

We have been away – and trying to plan a couple’s retreat.

Do you know how hard that is? Either one of us would have had no problem planning a conference/retreat on our own. But when we try to come together and make plans… well, we even have a hard time just communicating. The first day, we finally decided to just separate and read and do a little planning on our own and PRAY. Then we would get back together the next day, with a few ideas and see if they would mesh together somehow. We did not fuss. We just could not communicate. We both were on edge. There was tension. WARFARE.

Oh, Jesus, help us.

And He did. Oh, He is the faithful One.

More about our planning later…But for today, if it is hard for a married couple to take some time and plan four sessions together for a retreat coming in four months, then how much harder is it for a couple to survive the stresses of daily life?

Life really can be hard. Life is busy. We get distracted. We are different and we handle ALL of life in a different way. Usually neither are wrong. Just different. The sooner we realize that and appreciate those differences, the sooner that there will be peace in the relationship. Sometimes, we really do just need to get alone and do our own study/soul searching, and later come back to discuss what we’ve learned. It really can be easier to face the conflict/dilemma/decision after we have had our own time in the Word and with our Savior.

Now, I am not talking about avoidance – just a change in perspective. We must remember we are on the same team. Neither of us is the enemy. Keep that in mind. We are working for the same goal – and that is the good of our lives together and our particular family. (or maybe the retreat that we are trying to plan)

Each just needs to focus on their part. And then appreciate the differences. It really is a good thing. I like to call it Holy Sandpaper. That will be a topic later…

Completely different
and surviving…
DeeDee

Ready to get started back on track

So, the plan is to get things started back on track the first week of September.

Now, what I mean is that Hal and I are planning some intensive study time that first week. We have several ideas floating in our heads and we are going to try to get them TOGETHER and on paper. Now, if you know anything at all about us – you know that our planning and preparation styles are COMPLETE OPPOSITES.

This should be fun!

Regardless of how our planning/studying/preparing time goes…. we hope to have this blog working for and with us again by September 8th.

Surviving and thriving,
Hal and DeeDee

First Chat Night

So….. we just finished the first chat night. I am so excited! There were five of us there, and we were learning about chatting together. I am looking forward to next week already!

We both have ideas going through our minds about opposites, so we hope to post them later this week.

But for tonight, I just want you to Thank the Lord for your spouse and the differences that you have. Hal has always said that if you were just alike – one of you would be unnecessary! Think about it.

More to come!
~dd

Opposites Attract

Have you ever noticed how many times couples will talk about how opposite they are? It is true, opposites attact. Just like the opposites ends of a magnet. But often the very thing that attacts you to your spouse in the beginning of the relationship – will be the first REAL irritation that you have to deal with. It will be the very thing that causes (or starts) the biggest fusses. Now…. how do we deal with it? That is the discussion this week.

How are you different? I will give some examples. Usually one is hot nature and the other will be cold natured. There will be the night owl and the morning person. One will be an introvert and the other will be an extravert. One will be a neat freak and the other will be messy. One will have the gift of hospitality and love having a crowd over – while the other just endures it. Etc., etc., etc. You get the idea. Share some with us – and how you have worked it out in your marriage.

We really are going to try and get on the chat tonight at 8:00 (CST). Not sure if Hal’s computer will let him yet. But going to see…. would love for you to join us (even for part of the time). Let’s talk.

Hope to see you tonight… and there will be more post this week on opposites.
Blessings,
DeeDee